Thursday, 24 May 2012

Wear In The World

As previously commented upon, oil and gas have a tendency to be produced by countries that would struggle to attract any revenue from the tourism industry. And when an "attractive" destination does receive nature's double blessing/curse, the oil is always in the ugly bits.

Exhibit A: UK- Aberdeen, Dundee, Great Yarmouth
Exhibit B: Indonesia - Balikpapan, Irian Jaya
Exhibit C: Thailand - Sattahip, Songkhla

My opinion is based on first hand experience and I can attest to the fact that although Thailand is my second home and my favourite country, crew changing out of Sattahip at 2 am is the closest thing to CIA extradition that I ever want to experience. It was made much worse by the fact they breathalysed you before they'd let you on the crew boat. And it was the reason why we self administered Xanax, Dormicum and other date rape drugs before we got on the boat for the 8-12 hr trip to the rig. Better to risk drowning due to unconsciousness in the unlikely event of a sinking, than experience the guaranteed group vomiting of 60 Thai workers, infamous for the instability of their sea legs.

So with my imminent departure (69 days, but who's counting ?) from my current location and having heard there are a couple of possible options, of which unemployment is included, I've drawn up a list of  the most likely candidates for my next destination - a sort of sweep stake. Play along at home if you wish...

1. Algeria (rotational, not a bad deal - they speak two foreign languages, 1 of which is french but they speak it grudgingly not arrogantly)
2. Dubai (live in, £6 a pint!And full of smug gits in flash cars. And no hardship bonus as the only hardship is the price of beer. Good Thai food though.)
3. Angola (rotational. Proper, traditional oil field place. A bit wild west, could be great fun like Azerbaijan was 15 years ago)
4. Libya (rotational. 6 months of Nato bombing might have brought it into the 20th Century)
5. Oman (live in. Apparently a bit Judith Chalmers. You can enjoy yourself, but not in a risky way, like jumping into a bath of cotton wool)
Possibly The Only Reason to watch The Avengers movie
6. Abu Dhabi (live in. Sterile, dull, inconvenient and expensive. Like marrying Scarlett Johansson then finding out she's taken a vow of chastity but has an uncontrollable shopping habit )
7. Iraq (rotational. Not as dangerous as you think and hence not as lucrative as it should be for somewhere that alot of people still want to kill you)
8. West Africa (live in if it's Ghana, Mozambique, you know, the nice bits where they still drink gin in the afternoon)
9. Any country ending in "stan" (rotational. Kate Adie would wear a flak jacket, the women are stunning and their male relatives vengeful)
10. SE Asia / Oceania (who cares, you've won the golden ticket!)


  1. Great Yarmouth? Oil? Really?
    And doesnt America still have oil? And dont u work for a US oil company?

  2. Great Yarmouth services the southern sector of the North Sea. FYI.
    America, North & South have lots of oil. As do Russia, China, India and heaps of other places I don't fancy too much, having already been there....