Sunday, 19 December 2010

A Sunday Top Five: 5 Ways Columbo will catch you

1. The phone records. Don't make a call, or say you made a call, or have someone call you or in any way rely on a phone call for an alibi. "The guys down at the phone company" will soon find you out.

2. The odometer. The extra mileage on your car exactly matches the return trip from your house to where the deceased was found.  Maybe take a longer route on the way back after topping off your victim.

3. Time. Altering people's watches to account for the missing hours you were away committing murder will always be found out. You will also give yourself away by asking people the time at a cocktail party in order to establish your alibi, especially if you've already asked 3 other people that night.

4. Relying on technology. Using any form of 'hi tech' gadgets (for the early 1970's) to establish an alibi is bound to result in a quick arrest. Forget your telephone answer machine, video tape recorder or CCTV system, they will be your downfall.

5. Leave forensic evidence. Long before CSI Where-ever came along and reduced crime solving to a test tube and a computer database, "The boys down at the lab" could match a bullet to a gun, a thread to a pullover or a hair to a head. They'd do it while the kettle boiled and wouldn't complain about people smoking in their lab.

And just one more thing....  Claiming you have 'pull' down 'at city hall' and that you'll have Columbo sacked if he doesn't stop harassing you is worse than wearing a sign round your neck with "Murderer" on it.

1 comment:

  1. you watch Columbo? Since when? I'm sure it wasn't shown on the BBC!