(S)training

The latest focus at work is the drive to ensure that 100% of our workers have completed the mandatory on line safety training courses in topics such as “working at heights” and “hearing protection”.

Each course takes about an hour and there’s a quiz at the end of each, requiring a score of 80% or more to pass. As all of the courses are in English, we know that many of the local guys are just clicking through the slides quickly and attempting the quiz so many times that eventually they will pass, although they won’t know why they passed.

I have to do the training as well, so attempted one of the subjects the other night, not really paying attention and hoping I’d be able to work out the answers.

By question 12, I’d got enough wrong to know that I’d fail overall, so there was no point in continuing.

But in my defence, the questions were designed to trip you up and were all along the lines of:

Which of the following is not a false statement ?

(a)    Mechanical guards are not a primary safety barrier

(b)   Isolation of equipment is not the first step in the lock out procedure

(c)    A written permit is always required prior to securing a machine

(d)   None of the above

So now it’s a logic game: a not false statement = a true statement, so  (d) none of the above,  means none of the above are not ‘not false’ and so all are false .

I think.

I still have 10 of these courses to do in the luxury of “my own time”. 

This is the short period of time in the day when I’m not at work, not working at home, not driving to/from work or sleeping. My days remind me of the minister in the program “The Thick Of It”, who looks forwards to his daily ablutions as it’s the only bit of "quality time" he gets to himself.

Luckily the wireless connection works in every room.